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lovingangel's Blog


Hate

It has just been printed that I HATE SOMEONE,     No I DON'T HATE ANYONE.    I may have reason to, but I really don't have that much malice in me.  I have been desperately hurt, but am prepared to forgive.   Hate is a very strong word, and I won't use it for people.

Lovingangel.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


She must really hate me.

I have a very dear friend who lives quite a way from me, but she and her partner have been down here to visit before, and helped me out in a difficult situation.

Yesterday I told my friend that I had to go into hospital, and I was very frightened as I had no one to go with me.   She immediately offered to come down and stay with me, but her partner will not allow her to.  My friend cannot come by herself as she cannot drive very far, or down motorways.  She is ruled by her partner.  The partner sounded very unsympathetic, and uncaring when she spoke to me on the telephone.

I am absolutely devastated by this as I feel I will never be able to see my very cherished friend ever again.  I don't know how I am going to cope with this situation.  I have done nothing to make her dislike me.

My mood: very devastated
My health: really bad

Why should I be so lonely.?

I don't get it, this is the second Christmas on my own.  I am not a bad person at all.  I have spent my life nursing sick babies and people, and now i am a Samaritan.  I am very sensitive to other peoples feelings, and I always care.  In some ways I am a bit psychic.  People come to me for help and advice, so why am I left alone when it matters? 

I don't have many friends, but I think the ones I have are goods ones.  Am I mistaken.  I would do anything for them, even though they live quite a distance away.

I have been a depressive most of my life, but am OK now, even though I am lonely.  I feel very sad, and almost tearful, but does anyone care?  It makes me wonder what my life is worth to others?  Would anyone really miss me if I were gone.  They say they would, but those are just words.  Actions speak louder than words.

My mood: pretty sad
My health: been better

I think the world of her.

 I cannot stop thinking about my X therapist, she is such a beautiful person.  There is not  a bad bone in her body.  She cares so much about everyone.  She has so much love in her.  She is gentle, kind, understanding, non judgmental, strict, but in a very  gentle way. Very professional and a gift to the NHS.  God Bless her. I hope she is happy, and stays that way for ever.  My beautiful S.M.   I believe LOVE CURES ALL. XXXX.

My mood: very worried
My health: not great
 


1-4 of 4 Blogs   

Previous Posts
Hate, posted March 15th, 2009
She must really hate me., posted January 7th, 2009
Why should I be so lonely.?, posted December 28th, 2008
I think the world of her., posted December 7th, 2008, 2 comments

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